Sunday, February 8, 2009

Breaking point?

So. Today my day started out okay. I slept pretty late until like 10:15. After I moped around the house for awhile, my mom, cody, and I went downtown. We got Cody a training clicker and food at Pet Smart. Then we went to Wegmans where I spent way too much money on cleaning stuff for the house in NC so that when I get there if its not up to my "standards" (especially the toilet) I can clean it right away. Then we came home...
Matt was supposed to call today. He hasn't..... Im super stressed out with the move, packing, money, him being gone, etc. So I started feeling a little down. I always know not to worry but with all the other stress the worry seems to be super high today. I always get scared when we leave phone calls on a negative note that it will be the last phone call. As my parents were cooking dinner I was feelin very overwhelmed and all it took was an "Are you ok kid?" For it to just all to start coming out. I just cried and cried in my room for awhile. Now I'm a bit better but I still feel numb and super worried and my mind is so busy.
On a positive note. I attended a beautiful wedding last night that made me miss my husband more than anything. They were so adorable and the wedding was so fun. I got to see people I havent seen in a long time.
Sorry for my sad post. But... I figured most of the people who read this if you do are my Marine wife friends.... and I'm sure they know these days. This part of the deployment seems to be the hardest. It feels like its never going to end and I just get so torn down somedays. I breathe and I feel like Im going to cry. I just cant wait until April......
where are you?

*good thoughts for Matthew*

1 comments:

Mandi Benedict said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! I have those bad days too!! They are rough. Don't forget in a week you'll be down here and we can eat ice cream on those bad days together!!! hahaha